WHY I'M A FISHNET FIEND

The underwear as outerwear rule book has laid down a new law. Here's how to abide by it

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The last time I wore fishnets I was twelve. Avril Lavigne was my fashion idol, Blink 182 were my favourite band and I needed a way to express my pre-teen angst. Now at 22, in my final year of a fashion journalism degree, a full-time Tinderella and a part-time sex blogger (with a three-month dry spell), the post-teen angst is in full swing.

Last week I found myself revelling in nostalgia as I slipped into a pair of fishnet tights ready for a night-out. Having spent the last three months bare-legged, attempting to pull off the I-have-nothing-on-underneath-this-fur-coat look, it occurred to me I wasn’t Kate Moss and was considering a belated Movember* anyway. 

Thanks to Jeremy Scott, Isabel Marant and fashion bloggers everywhere, fishnets are SO hot right now. Whether they’re your regular, oversized or hold-up, fishnets are the new go-to accessory this season. The season of sequins, sparkle and sexy-ness.    

Now, I know my twelve-year-old self wouldn’t have known the definition of sexy if it had hit her in the back of the head (hello panda-eyed, red skinny jean wearing emo kid) but ten years later I like to think I have sexy sorted, kinda. Thanks to Primark I now own a pair of fishnet tights worth £2.50. After pondering on the idea of the hole-y accessories since September I decided to purchase them on a whim.  BEST PURCHASE EVERRRRRRR. 

As I hoisted the nets over my waist, I couldn’t help but imagine the drooling of young men as I strutted into a bar later that evening. Paired with a black oversized t-shirt, a biker jacket and a fedora I was rock ‘n’ rollin’ my way towards the possibility of breaking my dry-spell.    

With their kinky connotations, fishnets are literally sex on legs. Aside from keeping your pins relatively warm-ish, they’re fashionable too… if you know how to wear them. Too much sex and you’ll practically look like you’ve raided Anne Summers. Too little sex and you’ll be pioneering the next generation of ‘punky’ mums. Good fashion choices include A-line skirts, jumper dresses and oversized tees. (If you’re conscious of your legs wear them underneath ripped skinnies.) Bad fashion choices include anything too tight i.e. latex, leather or Lycra.

The possibilities are practically endless if you know how to do it right. Note: NO STILETTOS. Sex on top of sex sounds hot, but when it comes to fashion too much is sometimes enough.  

P.S. My dry spell hasn’t broken but I have a tinder date next Tuesday